The music is thumping, the club is bouncing, and so are the beautiful girls moving on the dance floor and leaning over the bar. The very thought is enough to give many men the cold sweats as anxiety builds, romantic and performance anxiety being frequent in situations that demand a one-on-one interaction with a beautiful stranger.
How to Stay Calm, Cool, and Approach a Girl at the Bar
A few drinks never hurt anybody. If you're a drinker, social or otherwise, it would be a good idea to have one or two shots of artificial courage before setting out to stake your claim on the girl of your dreams. This can help to facilitate the socializing process. Just be sure not to let it become excessive, or you won't be doing much charming at all!
- Look your best: This doesn't mean that you need to wear a designer suit – though maybe in the right establishments that wouldn't be such a bad idea. What it does mean is that you should probably leave the Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt and neon-green leggings at home and put on a fitted black t-shirt or a tapered dress shirt and jeans. Sneakers are fine as long as they aren't dirty, or white.
- Be honest about your motives: Yeah, you are approaching this woman because you find her attractive. No use making some ridiculous pretense to stand in for this fact. This doesn't mean that you need to go all Ron Burgundy on the approach and make a fool of yourself, but there's no need to beat around the bush with corny pick-up lines. Just ask the girl if she'd like to dance, or have a drink with you at your table. No one is obtuse enough to miss the implicit statement within.
- Smile, make a few jokes: Facial expressions and body language are key. Being overly fidgety and making small hand motions is distracting and can cause awkwardness – try to retain the outward appearance of calm and promote an easygoing manner to break the ice. After a few exchanges, things will naturally start to ease up a bit if there's any connection at all, so it's just about getting past those first thirty seconds that really put the heat on.
What Type of Girl to Look For, and How to Impress Her
Really, this all boils down to personal preference – from devilishly fun-looking to the timid and professional wallflower, men like their romantic counterparts to come in a variety of flavours.
When approaching the more easygoing, fun-loving type it never hurts to have a strong stomach for drink, a ready and genuine smile, and the willingness – if not the ability, which doesn't hurt but isn't really necessary – to get up on the dance floor. Even if you're the world's worst dancer, it's important to show that you don't take yourself too seriously and are able to look a little silly on a date.
More serious or shyer women may be more interested in a shared drink and conversation as far from the blaring speakers as possible. In this case a little bit of general knowledge about the world around you – celebrities, politics, recent events – does a world of good. Conversation starters are a must have in the arsenal of any enterprising gentleman.
Keep these things in mind and take an assertive attitude when spending a few recreational hours at the hottest bars and nightclubs and success is sure to become imminent reality.
Nicholas Morine - Nicholas Morine Bachelor of Arts, English Language & Literature Master of Philosophy, Humanities (Candidate) Memorial University ...
